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"She pushed her apron over my face rubbing it from side to side beforepressing it down."There is no escape baby. You are my little toy, my little dolly todress up and to feed. I might even take you out in your pram and showyou off to the other Mummy's and you can do nothing about it."She pulled back the apron. "Peek a boo baby," and laughed hystericallyat my expense."I think it is time for your feed. Mummy has got a lovely bottle ofmilk for you, would you like that? You lay still will Mummy fetchesit." She got up and brought back the bottle. She held it above my face; it had a large rubber teat that she squeezedreleasing several drops onto my cheek. She then caressed it between herhands and held it to her breast. "Mummy is going to take out your dummy now darling and you will ask foryour bottle, is that clear?" I nodded, and she undid the ribbon holdingthe dummy in place and removed it from my mouth."Can I have the milk please Mummy" I asked."Oh darling, that isn't any where. This is my fault. I fucked up in Vermont. I had trouble dealing with things. Unfortunately I didn't realize what was important to me until you left. I won't let you go again."I smiled at him. I really do love him."Yes you will," I said calmly, reasonably. "It's worse now. This past weekend ... well, it's worse now. You can't love me now. You love who I was. I think she's gone now. They killed her."He held me close and said, "I know about this weekend. Well, I know about most of it. I don't care. I already learned my lesson. I know you were hurt, badly. You have been damaged mentally and physically. We'll work at it. You'll get better. We'll get better. I won't let you go again."I knew he meant it. It didn't matter, though. I was going to die soon.I asked him how he found me. I didn't understand what he was doing here and I was curious to know how he found me.He replied, "I received that check you sent me from the sale of the house. I tore it up. I was so pissed. Not at you. I was mad.
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